


Never Been Before

by Shayenay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hinata is rich!, Kageyama is a college student, M/M, Mentions of Death, Minor Character Death, Minor Relationships, Past Relationship(s), Random teammates, Roommates, Sugar daddy??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26196406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shayenay/pseuds/Shayenay
Summary: "Don't you feel suspicious, Tobio-chan? I mean who agrees to cover your rent and buy you dinner every night and for what? Where does he even get the money from? If he isn't your Sugar Daddy, then who is he?"Roomates!au where Hinata spoils his roommate Kageyama with his seemingly endless supply of money and Kageyama doesn't understand why. Just who is Hinata Shoyo and what are his secrets that he hides behind the wall of currency?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 22
Kudos: 148





	1. Ch-1

**Author's Note:**

> Since i still haven't gotten rid of my Kagehina brainrot, here is the end result. This will be a multi-chaptered fic (Around 5-6 ish or else I would forever keep it as wip) and I'll try to update once I get my braincells to work. It has slight angst that won't be revealed till later so please enjoy my 2 am drafts.
> 
> Also Kageyama feels kinda ooc even to me so bear with me as I edit the chapters later on when I'm in the right mindset.
> 
> And as usual, all credits go to Furudate and I do not own any of the characters or the series in general, I'm just a mere mortal pls.

“Oh, Kageyama, you’re home” A cheery voice rang from the inside but the owner of the voice was nowhere to be seen. Kageyama made his way to the living room so that he could cross it and go to his room when he spotted his roommate sitting in the sofa with 5 different plastic covers with the logo of a restaurant nearby.

Kageyama stood silently, watching the orange haired man’s face as it lighted up with a huge smile as soon as his eyes laid on Kageyama.

“Oh, Kageyama, I brought dinner today for both of us. My treat” he said beaming and holding up one of the covers.

“But-” Kageyama opened his mouth, the automatic response to reject the offer. The shorter one immediately sprang up to his feet and was standing way too closely near him, looking up at his face with what resembled a cross between a frown and pout.

“No buts. I had already told you that I will be treating you today. You didn’t have dinner today, did you? You know, I brought meat buns.”

“Okay, let me go and freshen up and I’ll join you”

“Okay” Hinata beamed and took the covers to the table. Kageyama went to his room and took of his stinky shirt covered in sweat and stepped in the shower and took a deep sigh. He recalled a conversation that he had with Oikawa and his teammates two days ago.

* * *

“Hinata is not my boyfriend” Kageyama screamed at Tsukishima, who was messaging his boyfriend Yamaguchi.

“Yeah, sure” Tsukishima said dismissively wiping the sweat using his towel, not glancing up from his phone “Sugar daddy” he said before tossing his phone into his gym bag.

Oikawa who wasn’t nowhere near, suddenly appeared, started guffawing and placed his hand at Kageyama’s shoulders.

“Tsukishima” Kageyama yelled a little louder than before but the blonde one paid no heed and went back to the court.

“Sugar daddy, huh. Why didn’t you tell me Tobio-chan?” Oikawa prodded Kageyama in his sickeningly sweet tone.

“He’s neither my sugar daddy nor my boyfriend” Kageyama muttered, briefly considering abandoning Hinata just so his team would leave him alone.

“Then tell me, Tobio-chan, who would even accept a roommate who hasn’t paid his rent for two months and lets you _pay your rent for only the months you have money, without dues.”_ Oikawa’s voice was progressively getting louder, garnering the attention of Iwaizumi who was nearby.

“Oikawa is actually making a lot of sense for once” he chipped in.

“I don’t know whether I’m supposed to be flattered or offended” Iwaizumi ignored Oikawa and turned his attention completely to Kageyama.

“Don’t you think there’s a catch behind it or something’s _off_? I mean, who would even say that?”

“Trust me, I did a lot of thinking but Hinata says it like it’s nothing and refuses to accept my explanations. He even refuses to sit down and talk about it or changes topic or completely avoids me when I even approach the topic.” Kageyama frowned as he recalled the annoying orange haired roommate smiling widely and scurrying away whenever Kageyama tried to bring it up.

Before Oikawa could continue, Iwaizumi called them all back to continue playing. Oikawa closed off and came close to Kageyama’s ears and spoke softly, but a little too loud to be a whisper, his voice a bit more stern and serious as compared to before.

“Talk to him before you get yourself into a deeper mess”

* * *

Kageyama went to the dining table where the food has been laid out. He knows no amount of struggling and fighting will solve anything once Hinata gets his mind on it. He used to flat out refuse and even fight with Hinata, that has seriously escalated at some point but never, never was he able to win or convince Hinata to change his mind, be it skipping the rent or offering dinner like today. And it infuriated him, very much.

It wasn’t like he was doing well financially though, so it was a dream to have these features for someone who was struggling with jobs and hobbies like him. But it made him inexplicably angry that he was always in the receiving end and that he was indebted to him, figuratively and literally.

Initial fights turned into arguments turned into bickering which has over the course of time turned into acceptation. He would initially storm out but has come to accept the fact that it was literally useless to fight against a human tornado and one with an endless stamina, that you would be worn out by just looking at him talking at miles per hour.

“How did your play go today?” Hinata asked, shoving a meat dumpling into his mouth and taking a huge bite out of it and munching on it carefully, his eyes locked onto Kageyama’s face.

“Just the regular” Kageyama responded dismissively.

“Come on, Kageyama-kun” Hinata whimpered. “Say something, anything. Did someone miss the toss that you set?”

His face contracted immediately thinking about how he and Tsukishima had argued about Kageyama’s toss being too high and Tsukishima pointing it out while Kageyama blamed Tsukishima for not jumping to reach the height.

“Hah, you did, didn’t you?” Hinata asked, his ever lively voice just going higher.

Kageyama just sulked in his chair while chewing his dumpling.

“Come on, tell me about it”

Kageyama studied Hinata’s face briefly. His immediate thought was to just ignore him and continue eating but then he made a small mental math on how much he had to pay back to Hinata as rent due. Although math was never, studies in general, weren’t his strongest suite, he knew that the money was a lot and not something he could afford right now.

While Oikawa and probably other teammates would chide him for being this way and being too chummy to Hinata, whom they don’t trust the least, as much as he hates to admit it, the reason he puts up with Hinata is because of money.

Hinata owns the house they are living in right now, a cozy apartment just two stops away from Kageyama’s college and just a walk from the studio where Kageyama works part time as a photographer.

Kageyama lost his place as a regular in the college volleyball team because he had to spend more time in his part time job and the team already had an immensely talented setter, Oikawa. Still, he had to work because he has to eat and pay rent that volleyball had to become his second priority.

When Kageyama came to know about Hinata needing a roommate from Yamaguchi, Tsukishima’s boyfriend, who also happened to be Hinata’s friend, a place which was nearby to both his job and his college, he thought it was a steal. Although it was a significant improvement from his parent’s home, he now had additional expenses such as food and rent that he still had to cut off time from the volleyball club.

But when Hinata came to know about this, he offered to get Kageyama’s rent only when he was financially able to do so and basically rented him the house for free and even brought him food occasionally. This lighted Kageyama’s pockets that he was able to attend the practices more and more and was able to cut down on his shifts in the studio.

While it may sound insane to an outsider hearing this for the first time as it’s suspicious on why a stranger, who has been roommates for a year would do this much, Kageyama couldn’t deny what he was receiving. Partially because Hinata wouldn’t accept any sort of excuses whatsoever.

But even more so because he was desperate.

He was desperate to keep playing, to keep passing the ball, to stand in the court. And if the opportunity presented itself in front of him that he could spend a little more time in court, albeit in ways he didn’t like, he couldn’t deny it.

Although Hinata’s antics annoyed Kageyama to no end, Kageyama selfishly accepted everything with a promise of paying everything back for which Hinata always responds with a wide grin and thumbs up. Will he able to in the future? He must and he will. Just how long that will take is unpredictable.

Will Hinata suddenly ask back for everything? Will he expect something? Or is he expecting something right now? Is he doing this because he is filthy rich? Or is it because he is trying to get him to join the cult? Kageyama doesn’t have the answers to this question. 

And that’s the reason he complies. He doesn’t want to, no, he’s afraid on what will happen if Hinata asks everything back or if he suddenly kicks him out. He knew he was under Hinata's debt when he skipped rent for the first month, then the next until he was knee-deep when he realized how much big of a mess he had gotten himself into, because the expenses have been snowballing until he can no longer keep a count on them.

Even if Kageyama isn’t going to be friendly with him and hang out with him, the last thing he wants is to offend Hinata and lose the privilege he is currently enjoying.

“Kageyama-kun” Hinata dragged out every syllable in his name bringing him back to reality.

He slowly narrated the events that happened during the club, at a point getting too engrossed in the conversation, that he catches himself a couple of minutes later, complaining how rude Tsukishima is.

“Uh, why did you stop, keep going?”

“Hinata, do you know about volleyball?”

“I know enough to know what you are talking about” Kageyama didn’t know what to respond to that. So he just continued complaining until Hinata made a remark and laughed at it, that Kageyama realized that the remark was about him, that he instinctively raised his voice at him just like he does with his teammates and immediately winces.

Hinata pays no mind to it and just continues laughing. Times like this when Kageyama catches himself being rude or making an off handed comment unintentionally at Hinata, he realizes that Hinata never seems to mind or care or he just doesn’t notice. Or sometimes he would even say it twice to see whether he would get the same reaction out of him again.

Hinata was really unique and as unique as he was, was he mysterious. And Kageyama just didn’t realize what he had gotten himself into yet.

* * *

[Sugawara]

And that’s why me and Daichi argued

[Hinata]

That’s it?? I’m actually surprised Daichi-san can actually argue. He looks scary when he is angry

[Sugawara]

He’ll call this entire thing idiotic tomorrow

Hey, Hinata

[Hinata]

Hmm???

[Sugawara]

Are you still using it??

[Hinata]

Yes

[Sugawara]

Are you really alright with using it??

[Hinata]

I don’t really know what else to do with it

[Sugawara]

I’m concerned

[Hinata]

I’m fine, Suga-san

Goodnight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it through my shitty writing, why? Also thank you. I have the next chapter ready and I will post it within two days and edit this chapter as well in the mean time. I know that Kageyama feels kind of ooc and trust me I know. I'm torn as to whether to continue for the sake of the story or make his character more close to canon despite it affecting my story.
> 
> Also English isn't my first language (if it wasn't painfully obvious) so corrections and constructive criticism are welcome.


	2. Ch-2

Kageyama wakes up early as 5 in the morning. He would jog the entire way to his college and get started with his warm up and training. Although some of his teammates join him at a later time, he was a regular who followed this schedule strictly.

After training, he attends college, a course he was not totally interested in and studied for the sake of his parents, and evening, alternates between attending his part time job and volleyball practice. He preferred attending the evening practices since all his teammates were there.

What was Hinata’s job? Kageyama doesn’t know. Hinata knows almost everything about Kageyama, it’s not like he has anything big or interesting besides his daily schedule that’s worth knowing but Kageyama realized, after nearly 8 months of living together, that he knows absolutely nothing about his mysterious roommate.

Even during weekends, Kageyama is in practice that he is only really in the apartment for dinner and sleep for the entire week. And all the time that he’s spent there, Hinata was there as well. Hinata did once say that he dropped out of college and did not elaborate further and Kageyama just dropped it.

But with Oikawa’s words getting into his head, Kageyama was confused. What was Hinata’s job? Does he even work though? Is he a son of a wealthy CEO who wants to live the commoner’s life? Perhaps is he involved in the mafia?

While obviously Hinata’s biggest mystery is where his endless supply of money comes from, there were other mysteries that surrounded him that he never gave a second thought till now.

Hinata told him that he had been living in this house for the past year and a half although he knew for a fact that the apartment itself was two years old and that the neighbour lady had told him that she knew Hinata since Day-1. Was he living alone the entire time? What happened during those first six months? Why did he suddenly need a roommate? It’s not like he’s under any financial crunch. What does Hinata do for a living? What about his family and friends? He seems like a person to have a group of friends unlike Kageyama.

The more he thought about it, the more Kageyama realized how much one sided his conversations have been with Hinata the whole time. He barely knew anything about him. And this annoyed him. What annoyed him even greater was the reason he was getting annoyed- he feels it’s unfair.

But Kageyama was not a natural conversation maker like Oikawa so he really did not know how to bring up to him. Every time after this realization when they had dinner together, the topic weighed on his mind but he never articulated them.

Until one day it accidentally slipped up.

“Hinata, where do you even get the money for this stuff?” Kageyama asked in an annoyed tone when he saw that Hinata had brought dinner again, this time from an upscale restaurant, only because Kageyama casually mentioned that he wanted to work there because it smelled good, but was not hired as a waiter because his smile wasn’t natural.

What he expected was a huge, dismissive grin or complete ignorance of this question but what he did not expect was the current expression that Hinata had on his face.

Hinata’s smile faded quickly, his eyebrows that were raised mid-smile dropped and his eyes widened. Kageyama noticed there was something strange with his eyes although he didn’t knew what it was or how to identify it. His mouth slightly parted and the tip of his ears turned red while the hand that was raised in the air slightly trembled before he brought them down.

Hinata put his head down, the long orange curls obscuring his eyes that only the top of his head was visible.

“Let’s eat” he said, his voice flat, dull and emotionless. Kageyama raised his one eyebrow in scrutiny. Even though he was bad at reading people’s emotions or the cues from their body language, even he knew that he had stumbled upon a touchy topic.

But why was it a touchy topic? Isn’t it just common knowledge? And why doesn’t he reply? He knows everything about him but doesn’t say anything in return? He wanted to ask the last part out loud but balled his fists from doing anything stupid and took his place in the table.

Neither of them spoke afterwards till the dinner was over. Hinata who finished first, stood up silently and cleaned the table. Kageyama wanted to say something; anything but he didn’t know what exactly to say. He didn’t want to blow up this, whatever he’s having with Hinata. Although they have argued in the past, this time, he knew it was different and serious. And he wanted to do something to rectify it but he was hopeless.

Hinata said a low “Good night” not even adding a “Kageyama-kun” like he always does. This brought an explainable discomfort that Kageyama was unable to shake off.

_What if I get kicked out to the streets next morning? I don’t even have money? Should I borrow from Miwa ne-chan? Where am I going to stay? Definitely not with Oikawa san that’s for sure_

Kageyama took out his phone and went through his contacts of 20 people and weighing the pros and cons of every single person and for every single person, the cons outweighed the pros. He needed a backup plan on what to do if he gets kicked out tomorrow instead of a long term plan.

He decided the best person who could help him during a difficult situation right now would be Iwaizume Hajime, the vice-captain of his team or Kindaichi Yutaro. And his last resort option was Kunimi although he prayed it doesn’t lead to it because at least Kindaichi would scold him and let him in, Kunimi would just make a snarky remark and shut the door to his face.

Kageyama decided to let some steam off so he decided to go for a run. He caught a glimpse of Hinata’s room but it was locked and there was no light coming from the bottom of the door. He slowly closed the doors trying not to alert him and went outside.

He jogged around 4 blocks twice when he noticed that the four to five people who were out at the first time were not there and the road was completely deserted except for the streetlights. The air was getting chilly too so Kageyama decided to go back.

As he made his way to the apartment in the second floor through the steps, he noticed the elevator opening at the same time and a man stepping out of it, wearing a suit. Kageyama didn’t care enough to take a look at his face or his appearance and made his way straight towards the door. When he slid his hands to the pocket of his hoodie to retrieve his keys, he felt a looming figure standing behind him, casting a shadow that almost covered Kageyama’s entire frame.

Annoyed by the sudden interruption, he turned back and his eyes laid on the tall man in suit that had just gotten out of the elevator, stand behind him. He was tall, slightly taller than himself, wearing a black suit and a red tie. What’s the most striking feature however, was his jet black hair that stood in every which direction, like a rooster.

What is this strange man doing outside our apartment in the middle of the night? He wanted to ask but didn’t. Instead he just met the other man’s gaze with a raised eyebrow that seemed to ask the question for him. The man seemed to understand the cue though, and raised an eyebrow himself,one side was raised higher than the other and a smirk that gave him a deceiving appearance.

A random thought out of nowhere came to Kageyama. What if he was a lawyer? What if Hinata had called a lawyer to handle the case legally? Suddenly it felt like everything was making sense.

Hinata is going to kick him off, tonight, with legal help with this suspicious lawyer and he has got to pay the rent along with interest and not only that, his name would be tainted that people would no longer want him in any team. He suddenly felt sick and for the first time in a while, Kageyama felt fear, a chill ran down his spine and cold sweat broke out although the atmosphere was overall chilly.

“You must be Kageyama, huh?” the man sneered at him, cocking his head slightly to the right. Seeing the blank expression on his face, the man continued.

“I’m Kuroo Tetsuro. I’m Hinata’s….friend” the man completed and Kageyama could hear his heartbeat in his ear. That’s it, he was done for.

“Why don’t we go in and talk” his smirk widened. It doesn’t even register in his brain, as his hands opened the door involuntarily and both the men made their way inside and Kuroo made his way into the living room and sat on the couch as if he was familiar with the layout of this house and took off his suit. However Kageyama was too stunned to even notice the actions of the man and just stared vacantly, thinking about how his parents and his sister would react when he says he needs money.

“Shoyo went to sleep huh. Good to know he’s still sticking to his sleep schedule” This man knew his sleep schedule? And that’s something even he didn’t know.

“Well, Kageyama-kun, why don’t we sit together” he offered as if it were his home and Kageyama was the guest here.

“I’m wearing my shoes” he realized how lame that sounded only after the words left his mouth.

“Leave them out then” the man guffawed. And when he bent down and did so, he heard a ringing voice of Hinata, which sounded like a surprised yelp.

“Kuroo-san”

Kageyama was already too preoccupied that he felt like he had reached the end of the road.

This is it. I’m homeless.

But he was too absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice the pain and slight anger that marred Hinata’s voice as he uttered his next sentance.

“Kuroo-san, leave”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still haven't proof read both these chapters *cries*. I seriously can't read what I typed with my own hands(It's soo cringy pls) I feel bad for everyone I'm inflicting this story upon. I'm sorry:(
> 
> Also thank you for the kudos. It's been so long since I've written something that I forgot what it feels like to get kudos and hits in your story. It really made me keep typing Ch3 without having an existential crisis.
> 
> Once again thank you for reading and I will see you guys in two days with the next update with *flashbacks* until then stay safe and take care ily all


	3. Ch-3

“Kuroo-san, leave”

“Shoyo, I just came right now, is it good manners to ask me to leave right now, in the middle of the night?”

It seemed like Hinata himself wasn’t aware that this man was coming so it was a relief. Kageyama however, didn’t want to count on his chances and even after removing his shoes, stayed crouching.

“Kuroo-san, you look like you are back from work and possibly drunk. Whatever you’re gonna talk about is ultimately going to end up with _that_ topic. I’m not willing to talk to you about _that_ anymore, I already told you.If you still want to lecture me about it, I will not listen or change my mind, no matter what anyone says. It’s best if you leave, I don’t want Kageyama to witness everything right now.”

What is _that?_ Are they talking about Kageyama being Hinata’s roommate and Kuroo is against it? That makes so much sense.

“Kageyama-san can retire for the night and give us some privacy, can’t he?” Kuroo asks turning back from where he is seated and catching Kageyama’s eyes. Kageyama got up from his crouched position and straightened his posture.

“Yes I can” he responded like a machine “But before that, Kuroo-san, is it about me being Hinata’s roommate?” Kageyama realized it would be best if he asked this directly instead of prolonging that would only keep him up the entire night. If he was screwed, might as well learn about it by diving head first.

Kuroo however gave a hearty laugh and turned his entire body towards Kageyama.

“Please, Kageyama, I have bigger concerns than who Shoyo shares this house with. Besides even if it were the issue, I think I would grill Shoyo and not you. You’re free to go.” While he sounded that he genuinely doesn’t think much about Kageyama, there was a sense of hidden malice in his words, that, although Kageyama couldn’t pin-point, could feel.

“Kageyama-kun, please go to your room. It is…it really isn’t about you. You can trust me. It’s about me. You can rest without worrying about it.” Hinata pleaded, almost desperately. Kageyama knew he shouldn’t stay there any longer and he didn’t want to. With only Hinata’s reassuring words as opposed to the sly remark he received from the tall man some time ago, Kageyama shut his door tightly, as if blocking whatever confrontation was going on, on the other side.

* * *

Kageyama woke up again at 5 in the morning, like he usually did. His body was so accustomed to his daily routine he didn’t need an alarm to wake him up anymore, mostly because he woke up solid 2 minutes before the alarm rang.

As soon as he woke up, whatever happened the previous night came back and he stood at his door, grabbing the handle, contemplating whether to go out for a brief second.

He knew Hinata wasn’t awake at this time but he didn’t know about Kuroo, the man who came last night. And it’s not the problem of leaving the house, it’s coming back again at 6 or leaving to college at 7 when either of them would be awake and he has to have an awkward confrontation again.

When he entered the living room, he saw the ‘guest’ of Hinata was lying on the couch, sleeping. His suit was draped around a chair nearby and the 6 feet tall man struggled to fit in the couch and his legs were dangling off it. Kageyama just caught a brief look at his face and noticed papers lying on the coffee table in the front of the couch.

The papers looked typed and looked like official contracts and well…official looking. He never had to deal with paperwork before save a sign or two so he was practically clueless when it came to stuff like this. He lifted the papers in his hand; eyebrows furrowed trying to make sense of what they might be.

Eviction notice? Contract? Petition? He couldn’t make sense of it. He flipped through some pages trying to make sense of what they might be and getting ready to call Iwaizumi if in case he was in any danger of getting kicked out into the streets.

Just flipping through two papers, his eyes caught the symbol at the corner of the page. It was a logo of a bank. The papers seem to be papers related to a bank. Almost all the pages had the symbol in them.

A brief thought passed through him that maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t be looking at those papers that seem important brought by an unknown man related to his roommate. But a bigger part of ‘Find out how much money you own him’ over-powered the previous thought that he looked through the pages, not paying attention, searching for words that was in bold that would perhaps help him in making sense of what they mean. It’s not like he was going to understand if he reads the entire thing anyways.

His heart dropped when he caught the name “Hinata Shoyo” in one of the pages. And it said something related to his bank account and balance.

While his eyes roamed around the page aimlessly, they fell upon a large string of numbers in italicized font, which stood out in a page filled with tiny print. His eyebrows lifted and fell down at the same speed as he was stupidly trying to say that money out loud. The number was big and never has Kageyama seen such a large string of numbers being related to a bank account of someone he had known in his life.

Hinata’s bank account has this much money? He questioned and looked at the direction of his roommate’s bedroom, who was probably asleep.

“I could play volleyball all the time and quit college if I had that money” he thought to himself and wanted to put the pages down, feeling like he had looked too much more into what he was intended to do and with the way Hinata reacted last night, maybe he shouldn’t push his odds.

As he set the papers down, he noticed something else on the page. Another name that was in bold on the same paragraph Hinata’s name was mentioned that Kageyama hadn’t noticed up till that moment.

**_Kozume Kenma._ **

“Kozume Kenma” Kageyama read out loud, testing the way the name rolled oh his mouth.

“Kageyama” Kageyama never was this scared of his name being called before this very moment.

_I’m screwed_. That was the last coherent thought he had in his mind. _Guess I’ll pack my bags and move in with Iwaizumi-san. I’m so screwed_.

* * *

****

“Shoyo, do you like it?” a short young man with partially dyed hair asked, standing in the middle of the new apartment that is still empty but freshly painted, the fumes still mildly lingering in the air.

The orange one smiled at the former, leaning across the doorway, looking at him as he stood near the kitchen, where a light hung right above his head and illuminated his thin figure.

“The look from the balcony is good. But I didn’t care much about it. I had you in mind when I chose it.” The former turned to his back, his voice low and a hint of shyness in it.

“Is that so?” Hinata sounded amused at the declaration of Kenma, who was not so upfront about declaring stuff like this; it was rare, extremely rare. But today, Kenma seemed much more open than usual, his words bold and brave but contained sweet sentiments and love towards Hinata.

“Kenma”

Kenma smiled at the way he called his name, although his back was still turned at Hinata so he didn’t know it.

“When are you going to furnish these rooms? You still have recordings to do right?”

“I’m going to do them today and the weekend?”

“Oh, do you want me to help?”

“No, I want you to decorate the second bedroom”

“Me? Why?” Hinata had a slight clue where this was headed but he was unsure about what was the end goal that would achieve.

“Because it can be according to your taste. No one is going to stay overnight at my home besides you, so I want you to feel comfortable.” Hinata stood shook. Kenma really isn’t like he normally is. And Hinata knew he must be really pushing himself to say words he wouldn’t have said. Kenma had once told him that putting emotions into words was tiring but Hinata had no issues because he could always know what he wanted and did not want, with little to no verbal communication. Maybe turning back is giving Kenma the confidence.

And Hinata’s heart swelled with affection, one look at his face was a dead giveaway. His eyes were transfixed as Kenma, both their cheeks dusted with slight pink blushes.

“Don’t worry about the costs; just choose whatever makes you feel at home.” The last part came off as a huff as Hinata wrapped his arms around Kenma from the back and adjusted his face so that it was fit in the gap between his neck and his shoulder.

“Shoyou” Kenma could only let out a breath.

“Shh, let me stay like this for a moment” The both of them stood under the light, in comfortable silence. It wasn’t something unusual, as Kenma was a quiet person and the silences between them that were filled with delicate, discrete touches was something that was always present between the duo. This was one such moment. Both of them did not want to break the tender moment.

_“Thank you”_

Neither of them told the words out loud but both of them were able to hear it loud and clear in their minds, an intimate telepathic signal only they could send and the other was able to receive which required nothing more than their silent breath and their two hearts beating as one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Also big thank you to all who left comments and kudos, it really made me not ditch writing and continue pushing myself to write two chapters in the last two days.
> 
> I honestly have no idea what to do after the two chaps tho. Hence I will stay in AO3 the entire night and read some angst to torture myself. And as always take care and see ya in two days~


	4. Ch-4

“Kageyama, you seem on the edge today. Is something wrong?” Iwaizumi asked during their break. Kageyama could feel others eyes on him as well.

“No, it’s nothing. Uh, Iwaizumi-san, are you looking for a roommate?”

“Trouble in paradise?” Tsukishima questioned from behind. Kageyama stopped his remark in his tongue and continued the matter at hand right now.

“Is something wrong, Kageyama?”

“Well, uh, Hinata and sort of had an issue. And I don’t want to go back there”

“Forever?”

“For some time”

“Well, what exactly happened?”

“Spill the tea, Tobio-chan” the ever bubbly Oikawa came into view.

“Well, I just said the words _Kozume Kenma_ , it was a name on some papers and Hinata went to this…this state where he almost started crying and getting mad at me and took the papers and tore them up.Then Kuroo-san, the stranger who came yesterday woke up in this commotion and tried to calm Hinata down and he and Hinata had an argument, something about money and a card or something. And then suddenly, Kuroo-san asked Hinata something and my name came up, I didn’t know what to do or say so I just stood there.

Then Hinata said something like ‘ _If I wish to spend the money on Kageyama or whomever or whatever it is, you don’t get to come in the middle. He gave it to me. I get to decide what I want to do with it, not you_.’ And then Kuroo-san told that ‘If you decide to spend Kenma’s money like that just so you can fulfill _the deal_ then I would freeze your account, Shoyo’ I think that the money belongs to Kenma-san and Hinata’s using it and since Kuroo looks like a lawyer, he’s trying to stop him from using it. I don’t want Hinata to be burdened by me. So can I stay at your apartment for two days, Iwaizumi-san?”

Almost the entire team was listening to whatever Kageyama was saying and had a very solemn expression. He wondered whether it was such a tragic story that he had narrated or whether they were too concerned about him. Whatever might be the case, he felt that the expression he was getting was a bit more…‘ _intense_ ’ than he had expected it to be.

“Yeah sure, why not” Iwaizumi replied avoiding making eye contact.

“Tobio-chan, did you really not know that Hinata’s money came from Kenma before?”

“Oikawa-san, you know who ‘Kenma’ is?”

“You don’t know who Kenma was?” Tsukishima asked, half screaming, his voice slightly laced with anger and shock.

* * *

_“Who is Shoyo?” Kuroo asked, pushing the buttons on the console as Kenma held the other console, his fingers gliding across the buttons fluidly effortless._

_Kenma briefly looked down from the screen but his fingers continued their movement._

_“You haven’t talked to me about another human being this passionately, in about more than ten years I’ve known you.”_

_“A lot happened once you left to college, Kuro.”_

_“I know. I’m happy that you met him and all. One day you don’t reply to me at all and then the next all you do is talk about ‘Shoyo’ this, ‘Shoyo’ that and ask questions upon questions. If I didn’t know better, I would assume that you like him.”_

_Kenma remained silent and fiddled with the buttons, his focus, however, elsewhere. It took Kuroo two seconds to figure out what was going on. He tossed the controller aside. It wasn’t like he was going to win against Kenma anyways._

_“You like him?”_

_“Maybe”_

_Kuroo hugged Kenma, throwing both his arms around and held him in a not too tight embrace, something he doesn’t do often because he knows how Kenma feels about physical affection._

_Kenma’s face however did not spare in showing the embarrassment he was feeling, both because of the hug and coming in terms with the fact that he likes Hinata. He hid his face behind his bangs so that Kuroo wouldn’t be able to look at the grin that was threatening to take over his face, which he was fighting to hold back. Kuroo wouldn’t let him go alive if he ever saw it._

_“Oh, my Kenma has grown so much. I am so proud of you. So when are you going to tell him.”_

_“I sent him a message some time before you came.”_

_“Did he reply?”_

_“Not yet”_

_Kenma’s phone pinged with the notification at the most idealistic time. Kuroo jumped at the phone and peered at the lit up screen while Kenma was still struggling in his arms, trying to reach for the phone that was in the taller one’s arm held out high._

_“Your Shoyo-kun said…”_

_“Said what?”_

_“He said-”_

_“Kuro give me the phone”_

_“I like you too, Kenma, with a kissy emoji. He’s corny, I’ll give him that.”_

* * *

_“Kodzuken signing off” Kenma made his signature hand gesture and switched off the camera pointed at his face, took of his headphone and sighed deeply._

_“Shoyo, you can come in now.”_

_“You knew I was standing outside?” Hinata made his way towards Kenma who was curled in his gaming chair that occupied his entire body._

_“I heard you walking outside my room.” Kenma turned in his chair away from the computer screen towards Hinata who was standing with a glass of milk in his hand. Kenma’s face immediately made an expression of intense disgust at the sight of it._

_“Shoyo, I’m not drinking it.”_

_“You say that every day. I promised your mother and Kuroo-san that I will make you drink milk everyday and make sure that you eat healthy and have a balanced diet.”_

_“Shoyo, I’m not a kid”_

_“Okay, how about I drink milk with you too?”_

_“Then I wouldn’t mind I guess” Kenma wrapped his arms around Hinata’s torso. It’s surprising but sometimes Kenma is upfront with his affection when he feels comfortable and when he is, he tends to never let go. It’s not that Hinata minds but he has to suppress the urge to cup his face in his hands and admire his beauty._

_“Then let’s drink milk together. But oh, then I wouldn’t have an appetite for dinner. Maybe the timing is bad for us. Let’s drink milk the first thing in the morning, like people usually do.”_

_Kenma just hummed in agreement. Hinata placed the glass of milk on the table, careful to stay away from the keyboard or the screens._

_“Maybe we’ll buy strawberry milk or banana milk from the shop if you’re not going to drink this milk.” Kenma once again hummed but didn’t say anything. Hinata cupped Kenma’s face in his hands and stared at him, with an air of mock anger and huffed._

_“You need to listen to me, Kenma. It’s for your own good. Your appetite is already so small. Have you seen me eat? I eat twice as much as you do. I can’t find what you like to eat. Even if I can’t find the food that you like, I’ll try to cook it for you. My cooking skills aren’t very good, but I will practice hard._

_Your mom was very concerned about your diet. I often message her and she gives me tips on what to include in your diet and I try to add them. And so is Kuroo-san. Kuroo-san was actually shocked that you would listen to me without complaints but you used to put up a fight or escape from him whenever he tried to get you to eat from your school days._

_Also they were really worried about you not getting enough sleep at night and staying up late playing video games. I’m happy that you have started changing to match my sleep schedule and sleep early but I know that you still strain yourself when you play without a break when I am off at college, don’t you? I don’t want to be your baby-sitter, Kenma. It is pressurizing for both you and me. But I just can’t leave you be like that and ruin your own body, especially when I see you every day.”_

_“Shoyo, are you done?” Hinata knew Kenma doesn’t like being babied and that he was going to be annoyed at him. But he couldn’t care less. While he was happy that unlike what he was told, Kenma cooperated surprisingly well when he suggested Kenma follow a healthier lifestyle, he was sometimes annoyed at some stuff he wouldn't changing. He wanted the best for Kenma; and it included the absolute best health, both physically and mentally._

_“Shoyo, there is no point in you doing all this for me.” Kenma knew this conversation was coming since the day he told he liked Hinata. He wanted to be honest to him, just like he had been honest about other things but he was not able to bring himself to say it to Hinata unlike how he told others with a straight face._

_“No, Kenma, it is. You have been losing weight and you seem much weaker and not doing physical activity like you used to. You need to get healthier”_

_“I just told you, there is no point in it.” It hurts. For the first time since he found out, he was afraid of how someone was going to react to it. He wasn’t even this scared when he told Kuroo. And he cursed himself for being bad with people because he couldn’t even predict what would be his reaction._

_And even before he knew what Hinata’s reaction was, it hurt him. At the end of the day, it was not him but the people surrounding him who’s going to carry the scars of what he has done. For others, it was inevitable. For Hinata, he met him and talked to him and laughed along with him, holding his hands all the while silently plunging the knife deeper and deeper._

_It’s just that Hinata was unaware of the presence of the knife, yet._

_“Before that Shoyo, how much do you think my bank balance is?”_

* * *

“You don’t know who Kenma was?” Tsukishima asked. Almost everyone was looking at the exchange, their looks cold.

“Uh, no?” Kageyama replied honestly. _Why does everyone know this Kenma person except me?_ He thought to himself. Hinata never mentioned a person like that to me. Maybe he was someone’s friend or acquaintance of the team? It would make a lot of sense since he rarely stays in contact with the team once they leave the court.

“Kozume Kenma, or his online name Kodzuken, was a famous gaming Youtuber.”

“Oh maybe that’s why I didn’t know about him. I don’t follow Youtube that much.”

“Kageyama, Kenma passed away a year ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry, pls find it in your heart to forgive me for the angst after writing that Kenhina fluff last chapter. I kinda had it in my mind but I didn't want to drag it out for too long so that people figure it out earlier and lose interest by the time the reveal happens.
> 
> Anyways now that I did it, I have been thinking whether to make it more angsty or make it hurt/comfort ending. I want Hinata to be happy and find solace but then angst is right up my alley so :')
> 
> Anyways the support I have been getting for this story makes my heart so warm, I haven't been this fired up for writing since ages. Thank you ily all, you guys are amazing.


	5. Ch-5

*4 missed calls from Hinata Shoyo*

*1 voice message from Hinata Shoyo*

_“Kageyama, listen,uhh…I’m sorry. I know you had no idea what was going on back there and you are probably confused. And I understand why you would be. But Kuroo-san has left. And since you didn’t come back yesterday night, I’m worried that either he or I have upset you._

_I’m sorry. Please come back, I feel guilty. Let's talk it out completely, from the top. Contact me when you get this message.”_

Iwaizumi, who was sitting in the chair opposite, looked at Kageyama curiously. He wanted to ask but bit his tongue back,not wanting to interfere but at the same time wanted to know what was going on inside his head. Kageyama set down his phone and continued eating the cereal in his bowl.

“Tobio-chan, aren’t you going to respond to the message?” Oikawa asked nonchalantly munching on the cereal. Although he lived quite few blocks away, he invited himself over in the morning because it was the weekend and he wanted to see “ _Dear Tobio-chan and Iwa-chan_ ”. Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa, sending signals through his eyes, which could be interpreted as ‘ _Read the room’_ and urged him from saying something stupid. However, he was also painfully aware that Oikawa knew what he was doing, something he was the master at, provoking.

“I,uh, I will when I’m done with the breakfast.”

“What will you do when you go back? Will you tell him ‘Oh, Hinata, I know you got the money from Kenma and spent it on me. Let’s just move on as if nothing happened and I will continue not paying my rent because the house is probably under your name and it isn’t a big deal, right?’”

"Oikawa" Iwaizumi called his, his voice threatening, hoping that Oikawa would pick up the cue and consider his words before talking about a potentially touchy subject. 

“I’m not going to talk about Kenma at all.”

“Oh, is that so. Even after you know where the money comes from, are you going to keep pretending as if it’s nothing? Forget the money; do you think you can even look at Hinata again?” Kageyama hated having human interactions because of this reason. They are unnecessarily complicated and messy. That’s why he limits his interactions with everyone. However he knows that he has to handle this mess which he had no interest in partaking in.

“Well, it’s not like he can avoid him forever. Even if Tobio decides to move out of the house, he has to pay back the money. And a confrontation is unavoidable. So give some actual useful advice if you have any, Shittykawa” Oikawa pouted at Iwaizumi, who had a steely expression on his face.

“I should ask him how much money I own him.”

“Do you think Hinata is going to answer that question?” Kageyama dropped the phone that he picked up with a conflicted emotion. He kept staring at the phone with a skeptical look, his previous resolve slowly crumbling.

The phone rang suddenly, the ringtone a shrill tone jump-scaring Kageyama and Oikawa. Oikawa looked at Kageyama’s face with a look that made Kageyama want to take the phone because he felt like he had no other way out of it. ' _Damn Oikawa and damn his stupid face_ ' Iwaizumi cursed to himself.He felt the pressure radiating off of Kageyama intensifying as Oikawa with his expressions alone, without using words, cornered Kageyama to make a decision. He almost thought it was impressive.

When Kageyama's hand reached to pick up the phone however, Iwaizumi’s hand came up and laid on top of his.

“Think about it, Kageyama. Can you really handle talking about such a sensitive topic?”

* * *

“Kageyama-kun, thank you for coming back.” Kageyama felt a tiny, very tiny sense of calmness lift from his heart when he added “-kun” at the end of his name, as opposed to that night. But Hinata looked like he wasn’t calm at all. His hair was struck in every-which direction with few strands of hair matted down in his forehead. His eyes were bloodshot, his face wore a very tired expression and the dark circles under his eyes were not helping improve his appearance any better.

“So, first of all, I am so sorry for the way I reacted that morning. That name, I just have some bad memories with him, so I didn’t know what came over me and I lashed out. I lost control of my temper and even fought with Kuroo-san.” Hinata for the first time since they’ve known each other seemed at loss for words. He thought about every single word that he uttered, both his words and body language being overly cautious.

“If you’re thinking about money right now, then please don’t. I gave the money because I wanted to, I had no other ulterior motive and I don’t want it back. I have no use for it.”

“But Kuroo-san told that he would freeze your bank account.” Kageyama once again, just like many instances in his past, cringed at his own words, how they felt dull and emotionless, when Hinata was pouring out words that seemed to be very personal. He wanted Hinata to know that he wasn’t being mean or dismissive of his feelings, he genuinely wanted the best for him but words were failing him as he was desperately clinging to the fast paced thoughts that were running through his heads, combing through them to find exact words to say.

“Well, he can only threaten. He wouldn’t do that out of respect for him. Kuroo never broke promises, no matter how much he hates them.” Hinata seemed like he was fighting for words that were in his mouth but struggling to utter. He left out a sigh and rubbed his face, and pushed out his thoughts, his face and tone not hiding the pain underneath them.

“So, you know who Kenma is, right?” Kageyama hummed in response with no further elaboration.

“I think you didn’t know about it since I never spoke about it, but this house, it belonged to him. The money I have, everything is his.” Hinata seemed disgusted with himself for admitting it. Kageyama knew that was what was going on the moment he saw those papers and that’s what his teammates told him but something about hearing it from the person involved himself left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Before Kenma…left, he had Kuroo take care of shifting some his wealth under his name to mine and some, he left to his parents. But what I didn’t know at that time was that he had made sure that I was the only one who could spend the money and no one else, basically no one, can touch the money or spend it besides me. I think you deserve to know the truth since, well, I was using you. I can’t bring myself to spend the money on myself. But I should. I-” Hinata paused, double-taking on his own words and took another deep breath seemingly to calm himself down, although he doesn’t seem to being a good job because he was heaving slightly.

“I can’t use this money. I don’t want to. But I can’t let it stay there forever. I just felt that if I couldn’t use them on myself, then I can use it on you. So that it means that I can still use it without being it for myself.” Kageyama felt the discomfort of Hinata rub on himself, tenfold. He had one thought after other, as each of the sentence sunk on him, each bringing a new question and another. But with all those questions, only one question that seemed to encapsulate all that he wanted to ask stood out, a single word.

“Why?”

“I…have my reasons. And to be honest, they are not very good ones. I didn’t know what I was thinking. But I never meant it to be harmful to you, never. I didn’t pity you either. I genuinely cared for you. I wanted to help you. Even though I was not allowed to give the money to someone else besides me, I thought it would still count as me spending it if it was for you, kind of like sponsoring. But I guess I got more comfortable than I intended to get.”

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t like it.” Kageyama replied honestly. Although he couldn’t understand the myriad of emotions swirling inside his chest, he knew that they were unpleasant and that he wished he could remove them.

“I didn’t expect you to. I understand if you feel uncomfortable and you don’t want to be roommates with me anymore. But I just wanted to let you know that I am sincerely sorry for what I did. I shouldn’t have just hid such a huge thing from you.”

Hinata looked distraught. His voice cracked at the last, the tears in his eyes threatening to fall at any moment. His breathing was still labored and had his eyes focused on the floor, his posture drooping and weak.

“I will pay you the money back.” Kageyama said with an air of finality. Although he still had to figure out from where he was supposed to get it from, it was the least of his worries. He wanted this conversation to end as soon as possible so that he can leave and never think about how he was indulging in the money of someone who was dead.

“No” Hinata’s response was almost immediate. “I don’t want the money back. I told you, I don’t know what to do with I already have and the last thing I want to do is pressurize you into returning the money. I have already put so much of my emotional baggage onto you. I don’t want to add another one. You can consider it as a payment for the trouble I caused you.”

“No.” Kageyama argued. He was not going to let Hinata get away with it. He wanted to cut ties and he wanted to do it completely.

The sound of the door opening garnered their attention. The door had been closed but not locked apparently, because the two men were able to open them and enter. The first man was of a tall, muscular and had an athletic build, Kageyama noted, but his most striking features being his golden eyes and the grey hair that was stood in an unnatural manner. The other man looked dwarfed standing next to him, wearing thick rimmed black glasses, his black hair less unique and more acceptably styled.

“Bokuto-san, Akaashi-san” Hinata sound surprised definitely not expecting them. _Does Hinata only know people with weird hair like his own_? Kageyama briefly wondered before jolting back to the reality of the issue in hand. The taller man smiled at Hinata, his eyes lightening up briefly and the tension in the air eased up a little. He took huge steps and enveloped Hinata’s entire body in a bear hug.

“Bokuto-san” Hinata called out, this time in a smoother tone, allowing himself to relax into the hug, just a little, the creases in his forehead disappearing. As he closed his eyes, a few stray tears escaped from the corner of them and Kageyama pretended that he doesn’t see them and looked up at Akaashi, the other man, wordlessly looking at both of them, his eyes intense as opposed to the expressionless look on his face.

“Akaashi, I will talk to Hinata alone, you stay here, okay?”

“Okay, Bokuto-san” Akaashi replied, his voice showing no expression, just like his face, monotonous and leveled.

Bokuto broke from the hug and took Hinata’s hand and guided him to Hinata’s room and shut the door behind them. Hinata showed no signs of struggle and followed Bokuto. It was uncharacteristic for someone who was so boisterous, who used to drag along anything in his pace, being lead around by someone else.

Akaashi and Kageyama stood in silence, even their breaths silent as to not disturb the other. The tension in the room was swiftly being replaced by awkwardness every passing second. However, both of them stood motionless, calculating what the other would do so that they can judge their own movement based on it.

“Kageyama Tobio, is it?” Akaashi asked, breaking the game of silence first.

“Yes. It’s me.”

“I’m Akaashi Keiji and the one who came with me was Bokuto-san. We are Hinata’s friends. We came to know Hinata through Kenma, though. Kuroo told us what happened that night.”

“Oh” Kageyama exclaimed, not knowing what else to say.

Akaashi paused for a very brief second, debating with himself whether to continue talking or remain silent.

“Kageyama-san, would you like to listen to a story?”

* * *

_“Kenma” Hinata burst into Kenma’s room around midnight, not bothering to knock or check whether it was okay to come in, like he always did. He saw the light coming through his room, the dull light from the monitor of his computer indicating that he was still awake, playing. Kenma immediately paused the game and gave his entire attention to Hinata, who had been actively ignoring him for two days since he told him about his condition._

_“Shoyo” Kenma whipped his head so fast that the bangs slapped his own face. Although Kenma wasn’t big on affection, he realized how much he had taken his boyfriend’s touch and words for granted. Even though he used to tell Hinata that sometimes he needed some low time alone, which Hinata gladly granted, he missed having him around more than those time. He missed hearing his voice call his name or the grazing of their fingers as they passed food. He understood the reason however, his avoidance justified, so instead of saying anything, he wallowed in self-pity and coped up the best way he knew, playing video games, which, as much as he hated to admit, seemed futile._

_“Kenma, let’s make a deal.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I know where this story is going? No. Am I writing three different stories at the same time? Yes. My three braincells have run out of things to say, so imma just finish this story in about three more chapters, if possible. I'll try to be consistent with my updates every three days cuz I will get busy from Oct and I want to wrap this story up before that.
> 
> As usual, thank y'all for reading (special thanks for kudos and comments. That's literally the only good thing in my life rn) Until next time, stay safe ily~~


	6. Ch-6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Mentions of funeral, death and suicide

The day Kenma passed away, Hinata was the one who had alerted the nurse who then informed the hospital officials and got in touch with Kenma’s parents. When Kuroo went to the hospital however, Hinata was nowhere to be seen. He was overcome with grief and felt his entire world had come to a stop. He felt as if his senses were blocked, the sensation akin to being underwater, drowning, and helpless.

It took him hours for even the entire news to sink in and once the initial hard-hitting impact had worn off, he noticed that there were two mobile phones in Kenma’s belongings,one which he identified as Kenma's and the other with cat ear phone case he recalled Hinata getting when they were new to dating, which Kenma gushed about. He called Hinata’s number in suspicion and it proved true when the phone rang.

He initially brushed it of him needing some time and space to take in the news. After all, he had been the one who had brought him to the hospital when Kenma collapsed in their shared apartment and stayed by his side the entire week. Kenma would often send his parents home because he did not want them to see the state he was in and although that took a lot of effort and tears, he weirdly wanted Hinata by his side and he did stay till the last moment. Just where did he go now?

Kenma’s funeral was held right away. The news was kept under wraps without being leaked to the press to avoid spotlight and Kuroo, who was closest to the manager that Kenma had during his career as a streamer, made sure that no one knew about this except family and friends. However, to his biggest shock, Hinata didn’t show up. Frustrated, he contacted one to another to another till he was able to get Hinata’s mother’s number.

Anger ran in Kuroo’s veins when he discovered that not even Hinata’s mother knew where he was and she was shocked to hear the news. She attended the funeral, scolding her own son for disappearing and profusely apologizing for the actions of Shoyo to Kenma’s parents. She seemed to care more about the irresponsible actions of her son and how insensitive it was more than the fact that her son was missing for the past 36 hours.

He, however, found her crying in the hallway every one hour, calling Natsu, asking if her brother came home. When Kuroo had told Hinata’s mother that he had left back his cell phone in the hospital, she seemed worried. She grabbed his hand tightly, the desperation evident, the tear marks still not faded from her face.

“I know I am being more concerned here when there are parents who are mourning the loss of their son. Shoyo does have the habit of disappearing when something unpleasant happens. He’s not the type to hole up in the room and never come out, but wander around and clear his head and pretend as if nothing happened. I am pretty sure that is what he is doing right now. But I can’t help be but worried. My mind, I just can’t seem to stop thinking negative thoughts. Do you think he is alright? He is fine, isn’t he? I can’t imagine the thought of my son just…gone. I can’t imagine what his parents are feeling right now but I can feel anxious about my own son, right?” His mother started crying and Kuroo did not know what to feel. He laid his hand on top of hers in a comforting gesture, her hand holding onto his arm like a lifeline.

The sadness, if you can call that, that he had been holding in from expressing turned into an uglier form, anger. He needed an outlet for pouring all the intense emotions he felt inside of him but he didn’t know how. The suppressed emotions started mingling with each other, which seemed have no origin, suddenly finding the trajectory to focus them on, Hinata Shouyo.

He tried to rationalize it with thought, it must have been tough for him or too much to handle but the fact that he wasn’t even present for the funeral when there were close friends and family pouring out their condolences while the person who Kenma would have found comfort in, in his own way, apart from Kuroo himself was not there was making him pissed.

_‘Can’t you make this day about Kenma and disappear afterwards and wallow in your sadness later?_ ’ It was a selfish thought but he justified his anger towards Hinata of him putting his grieving above the funeral.

The door opened and Kuroo just closed his eyes as tightly as possible, clenching his fists, assuming it was guests who had arrived, an instinct that wanted foreign eyes to not see the pathetic state that he was in. Tears that manifested from his emotions, rolled down hot from the corners of his eyes.

“Shoyo” He heard Hinata’s mother exclaim loudly and the arm that was holding onto it was no longer there. She was embracing her son, who had just entered through the door, crying. Kuroo's head shot up at the mention of his name and the clenched fists tightening further, as if he was ready to punch him square in the face, a thought that was getting stronger every passing moment as he took him in, standing, not bothered to even hold his mother, his wide eyes empty, devoid of any emotion.

“You bastard” were the only words he was able to utter, holding back a string of curses and a second away from hitting him.

“Kuroo-san” Hinata said, his voice that did not even sound like it came from him. It didn’t take much time but his brain foolishly tried to identify the emotion behind the word, unable to label them as ‘sad’.

Kuroo felt the last wisp of patience leave his body when he cracked a smile. It was pathetic, almost self-deprecating in a way and he couldn’t care less to discern what was going inside Hinata’s head, he blindly fell into the rage and launched himself on to Hinata and raised his fist, the word ‘Bastard’ repeating over and over again in a loop in the forefront of his head.

* * *

“Kenma and I made a deal.” Hinata said out of the blue. Kuroo stared at his face and noticed that the bruise on his left cheek had not yet faded, but has turned from a darker red to a milder color but not completely gone. A cold breeze sent a mild shiver but neither of them seemed to care about the cold nor the clouds that were darkening every passing second, threatening to bring a downpour along with them.

“What deal?” Kuroo asked automatically, as though he had been programmed to but not processing words like he always did.

“It’s, uh, complicated. But it has something to do with Kenma’s money.”

“Really? Is that all you have to say right now? About money?” Kuroo spitted his words like poison. Every word of Hinata was like he was challenging Kuroo not to crush his head to the ground.

“Before you get mad at me, please hear me out. I know Kenma left you to take care of his money before he left” Kuroo nodded in affirmation, his anger still simmering. He remembered the long and exhausting multiple conversations he had with Kenma on that matter. He had very early accepted his condition and would often talk about how he would lead his life the remaining time or what happens after his death. He spoke about it so casually that Kuroo had to point out to him how uncomfortable he felt every time he spoke about it like it was a no big deal and how every time he would feel disturbed later at night.

And in one such conversation that Kuroo despised having, he talked about what to do with his money. Kenma’s first decision he made was that his parents get a good portion of the money that would last them a long time, if spent frugally. The second decision he made was to monetize all the videos of his and be sent to various charity organizations. Kenma was always a good-natured person, who did charity events for different causes and he wanted to continue doing so and according to his own words ‘A lot of people might want to check me out once I’m gone and I want to make that traffic useful’. Although Kuroo wasn’t sure how that works or the inner mechanisms, he simply agreed and urged him to continue.

The most complicated part of the entire issue was on giving Hinata. The first thing he insisted on giving him was the apartment they shared. The second thing he wanted was to give a monetary deposit. When Kuroo had asked him whether Hinata was aware of this process, he had said that it would be kept a secret because there is no way he would accept it. And he too believed it, until Kenma called him one day; in the middle of the night to tell him that ‘Shoyo agreed’ in a very cheery way that he threw his phone across the wall once the conversation was done.

“When Kenma told me about the issue, I was totally against it. We had a lot of fights and arguments. But then I proposed a deal of sorts. Although he did change a lot of the content in it, we both finally reached an agreement”

“And what was that supposed to be?” Kuroo felt like he was slowly losing his patience. He didn’t even want to meet up with him in the first place. They just happened to be at the same place at the same time, an unfortunate coincidence and Hinata insisted that they go to Kenma’s grave together. Although he would have much preferred to go alone, he had to leave to college early the next day and decided to put up with him and pray that he doesn’t say something stupid that would make him want to hit him again. Something he seemed to be doing at the moment.

“So it was like only I can spend the money, right? But after I spent the money and it is over, then what? So I thought about it and gave him an answer. Although he didn’t like it at first and told me to elaborate further, I didn’t because I had no idea what to say at that time. I still haven’t made up my mind. I thought I should let you know.”

“So what was the deal about?”

“That once I spend it entirely, till nothing is left to my name, I will do something. It can be anything but no one should question me and everyone should accept my decision no matter what.”

“Are you out of your mind? What is that ‘ _something_ ’ you’re talking about?”

“Kuroo-san, I just told you I haven’t decided yet” The now darkened sky boomed with thunder and not a second later, large droplets of water started falling from the sky at full force. Both of them stood up from the bench they were seated in, the branch hanging overhead not offering any shelter. Hinata was the first one to move out and stand under the naked sky, his face facing the sky as if he were from a movie, giving the rain access to his face.

The chillness of the droplets and the soggy sensation of the wet clothes sticking to his body was enough to break Kuroo out of his trance like state,the weight of his words settling in.

“Is that something…” Kuroo trailed off, the momentary spike of bravery suddenly missing. He didn’t want to utter that word. He thought it was stupid and he wanted to believe that Hinata too, thought it was stupid. He wanted to be wrong; he wished he was wrong at that moment but why wasn’t he brave enough to ask that question?

_Is that something suicide?_

He was scared of the answer. He is the type of person who could judge what the other person would answer depending upon his questions. He was a law student, after all. His people skills enabled him to do that much. However, as absurd as it sounded and the sour relationship he had with Hinata the past few days, he did not wish to ask such a question to Hinata when he knew what kind of person he was. He was a passionate person, who only lived at the moment on what gave him happiness trying to squeeze out of it as much as he could and find new ways to keep the said thing interesting and fun to him.

You could call it an aimless way of living or living the life to the fullest, depending upon your view on what is happiness. For a vibrant person like Hinata, who knew that he needed something to dedicate himself to completely, who shifted from one thing to another trying to find the piece that would finally warrant all his attention, that ‘ _something_ ’ came in the form of Kozume Kenma.

The reason Kuroo was scared to ask that question was because the person he was asking that question to was ‘Hinata Shoyo’. Kenma, his ‘ _something_ ’ in life that he made the sole purpose of his existence, was no longer by his side. He was an unreasonable, emotional idiot. It’s easy to dismiss his decisions as stupidity and ' _no one would say that of course'_ but Kuroo knew otherwise. He did spend time with another unreasonable idiot and knows how their thoughts work.

With the only person who gave him the taste on what it means to be alive and taste happiness gone, without reaching the peak of euphoria, Hinata would be the type to resort to irrational thoughts making him a ticking time bomb.

“Is that something ‘ _suicide’_?” Kuroo asked once again, this time adding confidence to his words, his voice serious and demanding. His stare was fixated on his face, glaring. Hinata’s head fell down, away from the downpour which seems to have intensified that the droplets were getting heavier.

His heart skipped a beat and his breath hitched as he waited for the answer. ‘ _Please say no, please say no, please say no’_ playing in his mind again over and over again in a fervent prayer. His face turned towards Kuroo and under the rain, as if it was in slow motion.

And then Hinata smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I got too carried away writing this. I was actually supposed to post yesterday but I realized later that I haven't typed it out but that everything was still inside my head. I thought it would be rushed because I was in a hurry but it got immersive way too quick but it kinda worked out? This was my longest update...
> 
> I'm planning on ending it in chapter 8 to 9 but I've earmarked it as 9 just in case. I'll really try to not make it an angsty ending because my sunshine boi deserves an happy ending (idk pls dont take my word. I'll remover this segment if I ever make an angsty ending)
> 
> As usual, thank you for *still* reading. Stay safe and stay hydrated~


	7. Ch-7

Kageyama sat still, his face contorted, as he took in all that Akaashi was saying. The latter briefly stopped and had to gather his words because he felt like he was dumping too much information onto the former.

“Did anything happen during the past year?”

“Nothing. We all kept our eyes on him as much as we could. Kuroo, Bokuto, me, Hinata’s other friends. We all knew about it and we wanted to make sure he wouldn’t do it. And nothing alarming happened. But there was always a fear present within us as he never told Kuroo whether it was a solid yes or no.”

“But why are you telling me this, Akaashi-san?”

“I don’t know. What I actually wanted to know was whether Hinata found ‘that something’. I guess I could have just asked you directly instead of narrating what happened, but I felt like telling you everything was necessary. I understand it might seem selfish from our side that we are trying to rope you into this, by making you feel pity for Hinata or manipulative because we know that you owe him money. But that was not our intention. Please try to think from our point of view.

Hinata gave a very inconclusive, vague answer to Kuroo that day. When we tried to talk about that to him, he refused to acknowledge the entire thing and told us he wouldn’t do it, although very dismissively. Knowing him, it was obvious why we were concerned. Over sometime, our concerns decreased because Hinata was not spending any money at all and he needed to spend the money completely in order to fulfill the deal. You may think it’s childish but Hinata took that ‘deal’ way too seriously and so did Kenma, so he wouldn’t do anything unless he finished Kenma’s side of the deal first. However, then you came in, we were actually happy, that he was finally moving on or at least trying. Then he started spending it on you.”

Kageyama felt the guilt settling in his stomach like a heavy stone. Although he had time and again refused to accept his help and always told him that he would repay it back, he never knew that enjoying amenities from what he considered the ‘best roommate’ came along with its own share of emotional luggage. If he had even the inkling of what was behind the entire thing, he would have refused Hinata’s help on day one and moved out of the house.

“So” Akaashi continued. “To tell you why I told you the entire thing, like I said earlier, I could have just asked you _‘Do you think Hinata is interested in something lately, his passions or anything you have noticed living here?_ ’ and I feel like the easiest answer you would give is ‘No’ and I agree. But I thought that if you knew what happened, perhaps you would understand the gravity of the situation we are in right now. The last time I saw Kuroo-san this rattled was when he narrated that incident to us and now again, he was terrified. That’s why we came today. Can you think about the entire time you have been living together, anything that suggests that maybe he found the ‘something’. Does he show interest in cooking or music or art or anything of the sorts?”

“I don’t really recall” Kageyama replied honestly. He did not even need to have to have a deep, introspective thinking about the times they have spent together at this moment. He's been doing that since the day Oikawa called Hinata his ‘Sugar Daddy’. He noticed everything about Hinata in the brief moments they spent together because he felt ashamed every time someone asked him about Hinata and he went silent because he just simply did not know anything about him.

Following which he was overly observant, to a level that may be borderline creepy, and noticed how his smile reaches his eyes before his mouth, a feat Kageyama was proud of accomplishing in finding out, how his hair was wild and untamed, just like his personality but always stood up in three distinct tufts, how he often showed a thumbs up or how he found the milk that he left in the morning gone by the evening or that he sits in weird positions in the chair and was actually quite clumsy.

But never has he recalled him saying about his likes or dislikes, he has never heard him singing or seen him dancing, he’s never seen any artwork or musical instruments that suggest he had a hobby. He feels the frustration again, just like every time he thought about it. Hinata really is mysterious.

“We want to believe that Hinata ‘found something’ that he really likes or his aim in life, perhaps going to college or a job and maybe that’s why he decided to spend the money so that he can pursue it. And I think that was the intention that Kenma had in mind when he accepted the deal. He wanted Hinata to have some time to grieve and during that time, find something he truly loves doing and achieve it, the money being a booster. We desperately hoped that that was the case so that we can rest easily. All we need is a glimmer of hope that Hinata has finally moved on”

“I’m sorry, Akaashi-san. I am busy with college and part-time job and volleyball and barely even at home. I know very little about him. He never talks about himself and I’ve never seen him have any hobbies.” Akaashi must have identified Kageyama’s emotions solely through his words. They were filled with obvious regret and guilt. It seemed as if he was frustrated because he was being useless at this situation. Akaashi at that moment felt like he was looking at himself in the mirror because how easy it was to read his thoughts and emotions through little words. Had they met under alternate conditions, they could have maybe gotten along just because they were too similar.

“No, I’m sorry. I think I have said too much” He wanted to add _“Please forget that this conversation ever happened”_ but decided against it because A) It is insensitive because he didn’t want to know all of this B) It is impossible

Conveniently as the conversation concluded, the door opened and Bokuto was the first one to emerge. His wide shoulders were slumped and the brightness in his eyes seemed to have dulled a little, which somehow added a drastic change to the atmosphere. Hinata followed him behind, his face downcast which made it unable to determine his expressions. But the aura surrounding the two, who can be described best as boisterous and energetic, being down, cast a depressing shade in the room.

“Boktuo-san?” Akaashi called out in a questioning tone but did not know what he was questioning in the first place. Was it to ask if everything was okay? Or was it to ask how everything went with Hinata? Did he get anything out of him or was he adamant as always and try to change the topic?

Whatever it was, it seemed like Bokuto did not get the satisfactory response he was hoping for, his demeanour was a dead giveaway.

“Akaashi, let’s go and get lunch.”

“But what about Hinata?” he turned and looked at Hinata, who perked up at the mention of his name. Akaashi’s heart beat sped up a little at the vacant eyes that stared back at him. He never realized how bone-chilling those eyes were or how uncomfortable they felt when Kuroo described them but seeing them right now proves that every single word he said was no exaggeration.

“It’s okay, Akaashi-san. I’m going to order take-out” His voice was dull and devoid of any emotions. The last time he heard this voice was during Kenma’s funeral and hearing it again seemed to have brought back the negative emotions associated with it and Akaashi felt a prickling sensation, not wanting to see his face or hear that voice. Although he wanted to avoid it, the greater urge in him wanted to drag Hinata out of that state he is in right now. He finally can feel all the worries that Kuroo poured settling in again, every emotion he described using words getting more and more real every second.

And he sees it in Bokuto’s eyes too. A person who spends a month with Bokuto can read his emotions like a book, a very easy one at that because he was the very definition of ‘Wearing the heart at the sleeve’. If he loved or hated something, even something minuscule, it would be visible on his face. The hopelessness was evident and he was trying to be the beacon for all the three, trying to alleviate the tension in the room with a smile, which Akaashi knew was strained and he was doing it on purpose and not like all the times he had smiled genuinely.

“Hinata, I will call you later, okay?”

“Hmm” he hummed in affirmation and bowed lightly, the bangs falling on his forehead, obscuring the view to his eyes but his cheeks were rosy. They gave their farewell; Hinata turned in his heel and went towards the kitchen. Once Akaashi confirmed that he was out of earshot, he grabbed Kageyama’s arm.

“Kageyama-san, please save my number. If in case you come across something you want to say to me, you can call or message me anytime.”

“Uh, okay” They swapped numbers with each other and the duo left, leaving Kageyama once again, alone with Hinata. Hinata returned from the kitchen, and took a double take when he saw Kageyama standing in the living room,as if forgetting that he was still here.

“Kageyama-kun, should I order lunch for the both of us?” he asked, his tone clearly tired and exhausted.

“No it’s alright” His words came out flat as well.

“So I told what I have wanted to say. What have you decided?”

“I’m moving and I will pay your money back.” Kageyama braced himself for the onslaught of argument but he was met with silence. He made a small noise in astonishment and continued staring at him with narrow eyes. When he confirmed after about what seemed like a minute that he was not going to talk back, he tested the waters by continuing.

“The money, it might take some time but I will move out soon” Once again, silence. Hinata nodded after a couple of seconds, still not making eye contact.

“Stay” Hinata said in a low voice that Kageyama had difficulty even processing that that voice came from Hinata. It was hoarse, slightly cracked at the end, not demanding but a plea.

“Stay here till you move out” He completed the statement,louder and rougher than the first time. It was much more serious and lacked the requesting soft undertone.

“Okay” Kageyama replied as if bound by the serious tone, the implications of the statement hitting him a second later.

_‘I have to inform Iwaizumi-san and worry about where I am going to get my meals from’_

* * *

The sleep which came so naturally during the time he stayed at the home was tough coming to him that particular night. This is the first time he’s aware of being sleepless in his bed. He’s usually worn out from classes and work and training that he never lay in his bed awake for more than a minute.

His mind which was filled only with volleyball and nothing, for the first time, started noticing things that he had failed to, like how the curtains that did little to hide the moonlight streaming into the room and casting a shadow of the lone volleyball laying on the floor or how the shelf of his room looked particularly imposing. He picked up the ball and tossed it in the air, practicing setting, the intensity and the height of the tossed ball reflecting the thoughts on his head.

_‘Who used this room before me? Or did they share the same room? Is this the same bed that, maybe, at one point Hinata or Kenma would have used?_ ’

He eventually wore himself out only by his own thoughts and fell into a dreamless sleep. The next morning, which happened to be a Sunday,when he had practice in the morning and had to go to his part time job in the evening. He woke up at 5, like his body conditioned to and slipped on his shoes and went jogging. The speed was faster than usual, so as to focus his entire attention to his breathing and to not giving room for other thoughts.

When he got ready, everything purely by muscle memory and left the house at 7, he noticed that Hinata’s pair of white shoes, which had a red streak on the side, that were always there near the entrance, was missing. He paused for a couple of seconds, not knowing what to make of the information, ultimately chalking it up to him meeting up with Kuroo or Akaashi or Bokuto or any of his family or friends and left for practice.

As soon as he stepped in, a group of people swarmed him and had an impromptu intervention session where they asked Kageyama to narrate everything what had happened, because he told Iwaizumi that Akaashi had told him some stuff that Oikawa unfortunately eavesdropped and let others know. The team made their intentions clear by stating beforehand that they did not want to hear the story for ‘gossiping’ but so that they can help him out in any way they can.

The team was rendered speechless just like he was, offering some titbits and shared their own thoughts.A rather united message that everyone had, put in a nutshell was ‘ _Thank goodness,at least you found out what kind of mess you were in before it was too late”_

The entire afternoon and evening flashed by and he doesn’t recall what he was doing at that time. He was exhausted both physically and mentally by the time he made it to the apartment. The first thing he noticed was that there were no lights in the living room, which were always on because Hinata was always there. He switched on the lights and took a shower like he usually did and sat at the dining table, recalling the last time he had meat buns along with Hinata at the same spot, without a care in the world. He felt jealous of that Kageyama, who was enjoying the delicious buns without knowing how his happy little college life would come to a screeching halt.

He ordered some takeout on the cheapest menu but ate in his room, not still accustomed to the dark history of the apartment and suddenly the place he called home became foreign, as if he were in a stranger’s apartment, which in a way he was.

He was too preoccupied to even notice that the time was well past 11 at night by the time he was ready for bed. However, Hinata was not back. In the entire time he had stayed here, this was the first time he was truly alone in the house. And it had to be the time after he found out that this house belonged to Kenma. The uncomfortable feeling started to rise up in his throat and he swallowed, trying to keep his emotions in check.

He kept his ears trained but he couldn’t pick up any sound of door opening or shutting even after it was past midnight. Concerned, he left his room and on the way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water noticed Hinata's room door was slightly ajar. He has never been into his room, making him feel extremely conscious. He knocked on the door to see whether he was back, suddenly gripped by panic on what to answer if Hinata was in fact inside and asked him what he was doing there in the middle of the night.

The door swung open at the stimulus of the knock revealing a very messy room. Clothes and accessories were strewn everywhere, on the bed, on the floor, as if someone had left the room in a hurry in the middle of packing and amidst all the mess, a single paper sat on the bed. Kageyama felt déjà vu while picking up the paper as if by instinct, that were maybe not meant for him to see.

* * *

_Akaashi-san_

_I think Hinata ran away_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter marks the ending of the story (yaay?) The last chapter is going to be long so it will take some time and not the two day gap like the previous ones were, hope no one minds. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, I know this chapter wasn't much and empty as compared to the previous ones but I wanted to set the stage for the ending. I'll promise (try reaally hard) to make the ending worthwhile.  
> And as always, thank you if you made it till here, stay safe and stay hydrated~~


	8. Ch-8

_“Shoyo”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“What are you thinking about?” Hinata was caressing Kenma’s smooth hair, looking lost in thought. Kenma, who always loved the silence found it particularly unbearable at that moment._

_“Nothing much” his voice was soft but dismissive, as if he doesn’t want to talk about it further but didn't want to tell that to his face._

_“Are you thinking about me?” Kenma smiled weakly. He never thought he would say flirty dialogues like this on a hospital bed, hooked to different tubes. Hinata sighed and smiled at him, not the usual bright one, a smile that did not reach his eyes._

_“Of course, you are always in my mind” Kenma let out a faint laugh and clutched his chest, as if the small action pained him. A flash of hurt crossed Hinata’s eyes but he brought it back to normal, pretending as if he didn’t see him suffer, like he always did in their apartment whenever Kenma would show signs of discomfort._

_“Say, Shoyo, what have you decided to do with the money?”_

_“It’s a secret” he whispered into his ears, pushing back a strand of hair that obscured the access to the ear. Kenma sat upright, feebly pushing the larger one away from him._

_“Come on, I need to know that you wouldn’t waste my hard earned money in any way” Although the words were supposed to be teasing, they carried a biting authority that indicated that he expected a sincere answer._

_“Of course I wouldn’t waste it”_

_“Then why aren’t you looking at my eyes?” Kenma huffed and slid his thin arm around his face, his palm spreading out, his fingers splaying around his cheeks reddened from crying and tilted his face so that their eyes met._

_“Kenma, you are going to be mad at me for what I’m going to say” he chuckled._

_“I know that much by looking at your face. Go ahead.”_

* * *

3:00 am

Akaashi, Bokuto and Kuroo were in Hinata’s apartment with stressed looks. Each had a phone in their hand, calling anyone who might answer them and asking them about Hinata. Kageyama sat awkwardly in the sofa not knowing what to do.

“That’s everyone I know. Should we go and look around. I brought my car” Kuroo offered. Bokuto and Akaashi look defeated, their shoulders hunched.

They nodded and gathered their things.

“Thank you for telling us, Kageyama. Sorry for disturbing you by coming here this late. Please let us know if he comes back” Kuroo bowed and turned around to leave.

“Kuroo-san” Kageyama called out “I’ll come too”

“No, it’s okay” It was Akaashi this time who interrupted “Besides, we need someone to tell us if he ever comes back here” Kageyama knew it was a lie because Hinata mentioned in the letter that he had the necessary paper work done to transfer this house to Kenma’s parents.

Akaashi bowed and all the three were out within a blink of the eye. Kageyama eyed the paper that lay on the table intently, eyes filled with frustration.

He knew after all that transpired within the span of an hour, he was not going to get proper sleep. He slid his sneakers and decided to go out for a jog to clear his mind like he always did.

_Why am I concerned? Is it normal to feel this distressed over someone going missing? Is it because he is my roommate and he did a lot for me the time I was here?_ That is the most logical explanation. But he had no reason behind the tears that streamed down his face, hot against his cool cheeks.

He stood at the pathway under a street light, casting its light on his figure. The entire street was shrouded in calmness; even the atmosphere seemed eerie with no movement at all, deathly still.

“Hinata, wherever you are, please be safe” he whispered a silent prayer.

Kageyama remembered once his teammates talking about ghosts, where they mentioned that if you stare deep into the darkness, you can see something moving and forming shapes, although it would be your own mind playing tricks. He regrets not paying attention to what he considered an insignificant conversation at that moment because he swore that the figure walking slowly, on the opposite side of the road was Hinata.

The short-stature figure,diminished in size as it walked away from him every passing second, the walk reminding him of his tangerine roommate. Suddenly, the fogginess in his mind cleared, as if someone had dumped cold water on his head, fully awake and trained his eyes at the retreating form. He cursed the hoodie that covered the head for he would have been able to identify him using his most striking feature which was his hair if it weren't in the middle.

His body started moving in the direction of the figure, the steps increasing in speed, and before he could register it, he was running towards the hooded figure.

“Hinata” he called out loudly, his voice piercing through the silence. The figure took a turn towards the direction of the park. Kageyama this time consciously sped up his steps because there were no lights past the entrance and he could easily lose him.The figure stopped suddenly but did not turn. He didn’t slow down until he was close to the figure, put an arm on his shoulder unceremoniously and turned it so that it faced him.

“Hinata” Kageyama breathed his name, thousand words that he wanted to scream, how he was stupid to get everyone worked up and launch a manhunt for him throughout the city in the middle of the night,all of them dying in his throat.

The hooded figure turned, his orange hair completely obscured by the grey hoodie, his eyes and cheeks were red and Kageyama noticed a distinct smell of alcohol that briefly stung his nose. His breath hitched and his chest felt tight when tears welled up in the latter’s eyes and overflowed. His lips quivered and he put his head down, the tears falling in the pavement below, the bangs hiding his eyes.

Kageyama stood facing him, his hands gripping his shoulders firmly, shaking him, and urging him wordlessly to look at him. Hinata bit his lower lip and caught a glimpse of Kageyama, who was shaking him violently, both their faces tear stricken.

“Kageyama-kun, why are _you_ crying?” His voice was hoarse and weak, something that did not even sound like it came from Hinata and he emitted a throaty chuckle. Hinata hugged him, his emotions getting the better of him. He had never done that to Kageyama, just a playful slap in the back or brushing against him when they crossed each other in the kitchen but never a hug.

Both the men stood hugging in the middle of the night, in a deserted road, neither aware why the other is crying. That was the day when Hinata laid out his heart, the emotions pent up in his heart like jumbled strings in front of Kageyama.

“Kageyama-kun, I just need to talk to someone. If it is not too much to ask, can I?” He did not need someone to unravel the strings for him, all he wanted was someone who would accompany him and watch over him, challenging him to unravel it himself with his own hands and smile at the achievement.

He knew he should not expect that much from Kageyama, who was nothing more than a roommate he had known for a year. But the strings were suffocating and he did not want it to be Bokuto or Akaashi or Kuroo. He considered, but they too, were tangled in the web, somewhere and not only would they offer to untangle it themselves, they would get scarred in the process. And that’s why he needed someone neutral, someone who was not aware of this entire mess, someone who would only be a spectator not a participant, someone who would not be affected by the binds of the strings.

“Let’s talk”

* * *

Kageyama stood in the locker room, ready to leave before all his teammates. There was an air of tension around the room but was overpowered by the excitement buzzing underneath it. Houshimi was jumping up and down already, warming up his legs.

“K-Kageyama, you’re smiling” Houshimi commented, pausing his jumps, looking at him with a shocked face.

“I smile often” Kageyama muttered, doubting himself.

“No, this was a genuine smile” Houshimi stared at Kageyama’s face, awestruck. His hands were itching for the phone he had in his bag, hoping to capture that moment, which may never come again.

“Okay, okay, let’s go. It’s time” Hirugami, their Captain clapped, ushering his teammates out of the room, onto the stadium.

The air smelled familiar but more importantly, it smelled like somewhere he belonged. He stopped the smile that was threatening to break out on his face and pulled his regular face and moved forward, catching a glimpse of his own face in one of the screens.

“More importantly, I think we need to talk about the players of Schweiden Adlers, here we have Kageyama Tobio” The crowd cheered at him loudly and he could hear people calling his name, a strange sense of pride welling in his chest “He played as the setter for one of the top colleges and was offered to go pro by none other than Schweiden Adlers even before he had graduated. With their old setter retiring, this will be the first match Kageyama will be in the starting lineup, as a regular. Adlers have been the reigning champions for the past three years and look forward to keep up the streak with such a solid lineup. ”

All the players on his team were on the court, each getting their own introduction. He looked around at the court, the mascot, the cameras and the crowd, fully absorbing in the view. He has seen this sight so many times and will continue to do so in the future but today, the air felt different.

“Today, Schweiden Adlers will be facing off against MSBY Black Jackals, who haven’t qualified to the quarterfinals for the past two years. Will this power hungry team have their comeback, by beating the favorites of the tournament and making a statement? This stage will witness them all. And to add, they will be having a new player debuting. Will today be the showoff between the teams or will the debut player steal the spotlight? Now on the court is-”

“Hinata Shoyo” the announcer's booming voice in the speaker and Kageyama’s whisper overlapped. The smile he had been fighting to keep off the entire time reappeared, but this time, he let it take over his face.

* * *

“I want to play volleyball”

“What?” Kageyama spat out the words. Both of them were sitting in a bench in the park, a good amount of space between them. They spoke, with more of Hinata speaking and Kageyama listening, for hours till the darkness slowly started fading away, the jet black sky losing its color rapidly.

“I…uh…kind of got interested in volleyball after you talk about it all the time. I don’t think I've said this but Bokuto-san is training to go professional, in V-League. I never cared much about it but after hearing you speak about it with so much passion, I decided to try it”

“But if you don’t like it and play only because I said so, then you wouldn’t like it” Kageyama would lay his life down if someone were to talk about volleyball so casually, he could be persuaded to go to any extreme lengths to defend the sport and we was willing to at that moment.

“Jeez, Kageyama-kun, lighten up. I’m not trying to disrespect volleyball. I just didn’t find it interesting till you spoke about it. Then one day, I went to the gymnasium where Bokuto-san was practicing and I jumped to hit the ball and it felt…so good. I had never felt so liberated in a very long time. The players were soo tall but I jumped high above them. That day, their coach commented how I had incredible stamina and jumping abilities and reflexes other players would kill to have. I wanted to feel that again. So I practiced”

“You practiced volleyball?” Kageyama pinched himself slightly, hoping that the entire ordeal was just a hallucination of a side effect from the concussion he had while hitting his head on a ball. Unfortunately, his arm hurt when he pinched it.

“Yes. I saw how they played. I went to gym, followed a strict diet, stayed in the sidelines, observing how they played and tried mimicking it. I played tennis and baseball and even participated in running events, so I had stamina. I know that wasn’t enough, I lacked official practice and years of experience, but still, it felt like I was alive every time the ball hit my hand. I wanted more and more, only one hit was not able to satisfy me. I have been doing this since the third month you moved in, Kageyama”

“Why did you not tell me?”

“I didn’t tell anyone. I have an old friend of mine whose father coaches little kids but he helped coach me too, and then another coach liked my skills and coached me. I can play at the level of an elementary school, no, a middle school student” He smiled. In their entire conversation, this was the first time, his smile reached his eyes. Kageyama’s heart skipped a beat although he didn’t know why.

“This is ridiculous” Kageyama said, coming back to his senses.

“I wanted to keep it as a surprise. I know you’re way ahead of me; I was just in the starting line. I wanted to tell you when I’m just behind you so that you would be caught off guard, you know?”

“So why did you suddenly want to disappear?”

Hinata’s face fell. Kageyama realized his mistake almost instantaneously. Maybe he should have just continued to talk about volleyball, instead of going around in circles on the same topic.

“I felt like I was forgetting. I felt like I was leaving back Kenma. Isn’t it unfair for me to move on, choose a new trajectory of my life when Kenma’s was cut short? Every time I was praised for improving my skills, I felt happy. It disgusts me, how I can feel happy, how someone else and something was replacing the same happiness that Kenma once gave me.

I left that thought in the corner of my head, trying to ignore it, repeating over and over again that this is what Kenma would have wanted himself. But I just…can’t. The breaking point was when you left. That day I took out an old tablet I had in my cupboard. It was gifted to me by Kenma but I hadn’t used it since the day he left. I saw that there were pictures of us I don’t remember taking at all. It was as if seeing an alternate version of myself.

But the worst part was that when I played the video, I didn’t even recognize his voice. I forgot his voice, Kageyama. It took me that much to realize how selfish I had been. How I forgot about the one true happiness in my life, trying to replace it with a substitute, in a pathetic hopeless attempt on a sport which I have no substantial skills in.”

“Hinata, it is not a pathetic attempt.”

“Oh please, Kageyama-kun, don’t patronize me. I know that people of my stature don’t play volleyball and if they do, they do so in the position of a libero and I suck at receives. Do you really think I can pick up volleyball when there are much more skilled, experienced players who are a foot taller than me available?”

“You can” Kageyama said confidently “There is no age when to start volleyball. I agree that you need to work infinitely harder to not only overcome height but also the experience of other players.You already have the passion to play. Don’t let that passion die out, Hinata boke” He screamed the last part to his face.

Hinata started laughing loudly uncontrollably. “Boke” he mimicked his words and continued laughing. The sky lost its shade of night, replaced by grey sky and the sound of birds chirping. The Sun peeked out of the horizon, a deep orange color that cast its hue onto Hinata’s side profile, matching the shade of his hair, the tears that trailed down his face glistening under the orange rays.

The day's new dawn was approaching, the Sun and the individual under it both on the brink of the horizon, delaying their arrival.

* * *

“You’re here” Kageyama smiled, as he reached his arm under the net for a handshake. Hinata offered his own and held it in a firm grasp.

“I’m here”

* * *

_“So you want to join me, Shoyo?” Kenma asked, his face contorted, looking like he had tasted something bitter “If that’s what you want, okay then.”_

_Hinata gasped. He did not expect, in a million years, that he would suggest suicide as an option to Kenma and he would accept it._

_“But that isn’t so easy. I need something in return for accepting it.” Kenma pointed at the sky that was rapidly changing colors, the Sun descending but the concrete buildings obscuring the complete view._

_“The Sun does its job before disappearing, that is, shining brightly_ _touching upon everything it lays its eyes on. I want you to be like the Sun, not just any Sun, but the Sun at the noon, who shines mercilessly and the brightest, at its peak. And when you do, I want you to think about me. I_ _f you think that you’ve attained your peak, where you shine the brightest, a place you think I would look up at and smile proudly, then you can join me”_

_“I am confused, Kenma”_

_“You’re like the Sun that is at the brink of dawn and I’m the night. We can’t coexist, Shoyo. You need to let go of me if you want to shine and when you think you’re time is done and it’s time to disappear, we will meet at twilight and I will decide whether you are worthy of joining me, if you do, then let’s disappear into the moonlight.”_

_“But if I don’t satisfy you?”_

_“Then I will never forgive you, Shoyo, not even when you come there. The Sun shines the brightest to keep the night away; the night meets the Sun eventually. Till then, try to touch upon everything, find a purpose to shine. Don’t try to approach the night prematurely.I will always cheer you on when you are in your peak and meet you when the right time comes._

_Don't try to turn into the setting sun. Remember Shoyo, I fell in love with the rising sun. You are my rising Sun”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations, if you are reading this right now, you have reached the end of the story!!!
> 
> What was the ending? I have no idea either!! You are free to assume what happens after...Ik it feels incomplete but the last braincell just died so I can't help it. I revised it three times but I couldn't come up with a perfect ending (I'm sorry, I'm much dumber than I seem)
> 
> Huge thank you to all the readers, ones who gave my story a shot and to the ones who stuck around till the end (You guys put through this mess, you can overcome any difficulties in life), your hit count, kudos and comments were the only thing that made me keep typing.
> 
> Thank you all so much, I never complete multi-chapter fic, this might be the first!(and probably the last) I couldn't have done that without you guys supporting me typing out in a desperate attempt to not forget English. Thank you for showing me love. I love you guys soo much!!
> 
> Until we meet next time, stay safe and hydrated, your comfort character loves you!


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